Rising Up to the Light with Dani Wallace
Sometimes you meet a person who leaves you with a lasting impression, and our Shero in this edition is one of those women. Dani tells us how she has turned her life experiences into positives, to help other women through her coaching, mentoring and public speaking events, and has become one of the most exciting motivational speakers to hit the UK stage in a long time! As the founder of I Am The Queen Bee, she delivers memorable, inspirational and thought-provoking talks in her own unique and distinctive style, bringing truth, humour and a tonne of practical advice. She also has a fabulous singing voice that packs a punch to match her personality.
“I guess in my head, if I was entertaining and making people laugh, no one was hurting each other.”
My story began on the council estates of Preston where I grew up with next to nothing and only ever knew life on the breadline. As a child, I had a massive passion for singing, performing and being the centre of attention so my mum paid a couple of pounds a week to have me taught the basics of music and singing. Performing gave me an outlet to channel my energies and I fell in love with it. At 17, I decided to go on stage and travel the world, singing and compèreing in hotels and on cruise ships. In honesty, it allowed me to run away from everything that was going on at home that was overshadowed by the domestic abuse that my sister and I bore witness to. I guess in my head, if I was entertaining and making people laugh, no one was hurting each other and it gave me a reason and an ability to escape the chaos.
At 22, my family wanted me to settle down and get a ‘proper job’ so I came back to the UK and I did what was expected of me. I bought a house with my partner at the time, used my natural presenting skills and ability to train large groups to establish a ‘career’, and was quickly talent managed and moved into leadership training for multiple global brands.
The corporate sector became my university and that’s where I earned my stripes, quickly honing my craft in things like leadership skills, management development, team building and communication. But the constant cycles of redundancies in my corporate role meant I found myself with an immediate glass ceiling and restraints on how I wanted to teach. You could only move so far and experiment so much in that environment because everyone wanted to hold onto their jobs.. I knew I was good at what I did, and to blow my own trumpet for a second, I’m an intelligent lass who was incredibly effective at what I did but I found it oppressive being managed and reporting in. Plus my personal life was in genuine turmoil.,
For context, throughout my childhood, my homelife was full of adversity, with everyone in my direct circle experiencing some degree of toxicity in their relationships. I didn’t know anything different. In 2008, I’d just had a baby and was excited about our wedding. A couple of weeks after sending out the invites, my partner called time on the relationship which left me a lone parent on one income at the start of the recession. I felt unloved, vulnerable and quickly began a disastrous relationship that spiralled into a rollercoaster of domestic abuse where I quickly fell pregnant with my second child and was almost strangled. I did manage to escape the relationship with the help of DV services, but ended up a single mum of two who could barely afford the mortgage and nursery fees. My house was repossessed and we were forced into homelessness. The only way we survived was by sofa surfing at family and friends’ homes until I was able to find an affordable place.
“I spent the next five years rebuilding my life away from negative experiences, and focussed instead on reclaiming some of the power that I’d relinquished.”
When you know what ‘without’ looks like then any form of ‘with’ is better. But sooner or later we’ve all got to let go of our past, and if we don’t like the road we’re walking on, then we need to start paving a new one! Everything I do today is hope-centric and has triumph at its centre, regardless of whether that’s success or. For too long I taught leadership but I wasn’t taking my own advice; I was miserable and severely depressed. One day, I decided I didn’t want to hurt myself anymore. I didn’t want life to hurt me anymore. I took a really long look at myself and realised that the only person who was the common denominator in everything that had happened to me, was me.
I spent the next five years rebuilding my life away from negative experiences, and focussed instead on reclaiming some of the power that I’d relinquished. I switched from thinking that success, wealth, happiness and all the good stuff were not for me, to believing that I just had to be more creative about making them happen. I started accessing support, which was a god-send, and began my personal development journey by mending my very broken relationship with money, and moving away from thinking I had to work really hard for not a lot in return. That in itself was huge because that was pretty much the MO of everybody I grew up with.
One day in the midst of all the corporate doom and gloom, I was standing at my kitchen sink and I realised the only time I sang anymore was while doing the washing-up. That was my joy, my first love. And I’d shoved it to the side for everything else I thought I was ‘supposed’ to be doing. So I started to think about finding that joy again and how I could monetise it so I could feel fulfilled while knowing the bills were paid. I decided to get back on stage. I went out, got a small business loan, bought PA equipment, filled up my diary and became a full-time singer. And I loved it!
Live streaming was in its infancy and I began to share my story on social media to feel less alone when I was in my car, pre-gig. I’d put on my make-up, my phone would be on the dashboard and I’d talk to people about what gig I was doing, the scrapes I was getting into, the plans that I had. And people started to listen and follow. They were inspired and motivated and they loved to tune in. Eventually, a whole community started, full of people who had each other’s backs, supporting and cheering each other on to succeed.But I didn’t just want to be singing ‘Build Me Up Buttercup’ on a Saturday night. I wanted more. I met my amazing husband and, with his support, I started performing on stages for multinational companies and private clients – I was doing something I loved: singing, motivating and inspiring others.
“According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway, because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible”. I was watching the Bee Movie with my daughters on TV one day when inspiration took the form of this quote from the narrator. The ‘I Am The Queen Bee’ Movement was born to help women across the world to Show Up, Wise Up and Rise Up. All the bee analogies are centred on the concept that we’ve all got stuff that we’re overcoming. We get to choose to fly anyway. IATQB became a reclamation statement to my birthright to success, good relationships, good friendships and safe communities.
“The ‘I Am The Queen Bee’ Movement was born to help women across the world to Show Up, Wise Up and Rise Up.”
Glossophobia is the fear of public speaking and the number one fear in the Western world; something I clearly don’t have any problem with, but I knew I could teach it! I wanted to help people use their voice to take up space for success, whether in their wider life or their business. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had probably been building my brand for well over 10 years. My values remain steadfast, with kindness being a superpower, and that we don’t have to be in competition with each other. I started to share those values. If something felt out of alignment, I would go on a live and talk about it. If something annoyed me, I’d get on my soapbox and talk about it. I would talk about the travesty of exclusivity, how women and other marginalised genders are being pushed out and how we need to see other people on stages.
I noticed that entertainment lineups were all straight and white and realised if that was happening in the performance space, where a lot of political things happen first, then it must be happening in the business space too. So I set out to create safe spaces where we could have conversations that matter. I created BEE Inspired, a two-day personal and professional event to help create real change. I set out to develop a whole raft of professionally-trained speakers who were a safe pair of hands, who were willing to go out there and educate, who’d be paid accordingly. That’s where the real IATQB started, just four years ago.
I am very proud that IATQB has also enabled the creation of the Fly Anyway Foundation which helps people who’ve experienced domestic abuse to build businesses. We’re still in pilot and about to do a big launch, but we’re already starting to change lives, which is really exciting. I’m still amazed that my business is so successful!
The company is now staring seven figures in the face. I’m an ’ideas’ person, and I know for us to be as effective as we can be, I need to be surrounded by ‘details’ people. I am very lucky that my husband is a dab hand with tech and graphic design. We’ve been a power team since the beginning. I’ve surrounded myself with people who are data analysts; I have a marketing and comms manager, a business strategist, the most incredible EA, who is basically my carer! We have PR people and our flight squad, a team of evangelists and volunteers who work within the community. The team has really grown and they’re honestly one of my proudest achievements yet.
“It was all thanks to allowing myself to say yes when opportunity came knocking and for being tenacious.”
I’m a massive believer in mentoring and collaboration, not competition. Lisa Johnson mapped out for me what ended up being my first multi-figure launch in the online space. Learning from those who are doing the thing you want to be doing is the savviest way to learn quickly in my experience. In the early days of my business, Lisa, who has become a friend as well as my mentor, was going to Malta for a few days and asked if anyone wanted to join her. I knew I had to be there even though I had just £300 in my bank. I paid £60 for the flight and said to myself that I’d figure out the rest when I got there. I just needed to be in a room with her.
The 12 business women who went were multi five, six, seven, eight figure earners going on a bit of a girly trip and talked about their massive plans for the future. On the last day, they were masterminding around the table, all helping each other. It came to my turn and at that point I didn’t actually have a business to speak of – there was nothing I could sell other than gigs. Lisa’s help got me started and then I just reinvested and reinvested. And we took off from there. It was all thanks to allowing myself to say yes when opportunity came knocking and for being tenacious.
I’d say my brand of personal development is successful thanks to its mix of irreverence, business acumen and wisdom. By sharing my life stories, all the ups and downs of my employment and mixing that with the 20 years’ experience on stage is something people just click with and why they feel motivated; I can be funny and understanding, wise, silly, intelligent and articulate, as well as an incredible entertainer trainer, singer and performer. I can be all of these things and still be a valid practitioner of business, someone to listen to and take ‘seriously’. I don’t turn up in a suit or business dress…I’ll do it my way, dress my way. Some people may consider this to be a risk!
The journey to entrepreneurship hasn’t always been easy for me as imposter syndrome is very real and I’ve had to really dig deep to unpick that one over the years, working out where the volume button is to turn that sucker down. I had solid beliefs that because of where I come from, because I’ve been homeless, because I’ve experienced addiction and all of the other less-than-desirable things over my life, it would put people off. The biggest lesson I’ve ever learned has been trusting that I don’t have to hide parts of me in order to be taken seriously. I’m not a rough diamond…all the facets make it shine. One revelation that’s always powered me on is that I don’t need to be liked by everyone to be a success, nor do I have to strive for the impossible. Perfection is a lie. It can get right in the bin.
“The journey to entrepreneurship hasn’t always been easy for me as imposter syndrome is very real and I’ve had to really dig deep to unpick that one over the years.”
I’m asked if I’m a risk taker – I take educated risks all the time, like going from a venue that holds 60 people to Man United Football Stadium! We’re going to go into big corporate spaces now. We’ll figure out how we get there when we get there. We didn’t really know how we’d pull off a £60,000 event when we booked it. And so that was a real leap of faith. I nearly had a heart attack in the process, but we managed to do it. I’m already thinking five to 10 years ahead in my business. So when I tell people about what my plans are, they sound crazy. Like taking BEE Inspired to LA and Sydney, for example. I’m focused on going global already and my business is only four years old!
It’s said the courage to fulfil a vision comes from passion and I’ve got plenty of that! The plan for the Fly Anyway Foundation is to continue actively helping people who’ve experienced domestic abuse, whether through business building, providing access to employment, or signposting to crisis support and post-crisis support. Eventually, I want to be in a position to offer a non-siloed network of refuge and post crisis support. My absolute mission and purpose sits within the growth of ‘BEE Inspired’ as the go-to business and personal development event for the UK with 10,000 delegates. The only other thing out there remotely like BEE Inspired is ‘Unleash the Power Within’, run by Tony Robbins, who’s an American. If I look at something of that scale, there really is nothing in the UK that’s as compelling, where you can go, learn, laugh and have fun together, for young people, graduates, post graduates and people that are in business. So the plan in the next five years is to grow IATQB, then do the same in the US and eventually Europe. I can’t wait to make it all happen!
INTERVIEW BY OLIVIA MAROCCO – EDITOR-IN-CHIEF – BRAND YOU MAGAZINE
Article published in Brand You Magazine – Edition 27
Dani Wallace – founder of I Am Queen Bee / Author / Public Speaker
Dani is a public speaking and business coach/singer and fearless leader of the I Am The Queen Bee Movement. An exclusive brand on a mission primarily to help women show up, wise up and rise up in their lives, careers and businesses.
Website: iatqb.com
Instagram: @thequeenbeedani
